my day. {#2}

it was a day of adjustment. today i didn't have my puppy. he wasn't whining in his crate when I got up, all wiggle-waggles--so excited to say "good morning"--ready for the perfect things in puppy life. a bowl of food. humans who loved him. more toys then some children have. explorations outside. barking at birds. chasing the cat. and i sat alone at the computer. . .because it was day without nick. he wasn't curled by my feet, sleeping away the minutes before the rest of the family woke. . .and when they did, he wasn't there to greet them. it was a day of physical stress. a sore throat, my head ready to explode with congestion and TMJ. it was day of cleansing. load after load of laundry, cleaning like a madwoman to busy my mind--so i wouldn't think--listening to a radio drama of The Secret Garden with my siblings. making arugula, brie, and apple-mustard sandwiches for dinner. it was a day of bravery--for all of us. getting used to the silence, smiling more, crying less. even the cat came upstairs--for the first time in nine months. no more running or hiding in the basement for her. it was day of peace. this morning I felt a mantle about me--Jesus covering me. yes, today was that sort of day. beautiful. calm. because prayer works. can it be I have no more tears? can I truly have this stillness in my heart? it seems impossible. but it's there. friends, thank you for your prayers. i can't begin to tell you how the words you wrote, here on my blog, have changed so much in me. how they have refreshed me, brought me to relieved tears, put a smile on my face and a warmth in my heart. i may sound sentimental--even foolish. but it was a day of treasuring--YOU. please, if you can, send me your email addresses--i won't publish the comments. i'd like to thank you all personally. for now, know that you mean the world to me--your support is priceless.

"the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:21

my day.

my day. {#1}

it was a day of learning. but aren't they all that way? i woke up in a grouchy mood, still coming down from a disagreement two evenings ago. it was a day of country goodness. deep in the heart of amish country--serene, rolling, filled with barnyard smells, open space, and farmers preparing their fields. it was a day of surrender. when i realized my bad mood was only making ME miserable. that deep down i wanted to be happy. it was a day of change. bad mood turned to good. able at last to enjoy the emotion of an all-girl household. crammed into one van. you should try it sometime. ;) it was a day of red sun dresses, yogurt-covered pretzels, and peach scented candles. then. it was a day of learning. again. a less-than-friendly encounter with a total stranger. . .it hurt. to the point of tears. it was a day of renewal. on the way home i heard a radio show that seemed meant for me. and i realized something very important. i realized how easily the devil deceives me. how often i listen to his lies, his promise of failure--"don't pray. don't Read. you aren't worth anything." but that is just part of the Christian Walk. some days lessons like these hit harder then others. today was that sort of day. then i remembered the tiny miracle of two days ago, when i was cutting the grass. so small, so big to me. the tank was on empty--literally, the mower should have died. but i prayed--not a simple, quick, thrown up prayer--a challenge, begging. it was a test of faith. my faith. and the grass was cut. all of it. Christ's answer--two days ago--"YES pray. YES Read. you are worth EVERYTHING to Me." later today i took my puppy for a walk around the yard. lilacs ARE spring, btw. i snitched them from the neighbors bush. they're in a vase on the windowsill now. and you know what? i'm completely happy and content--God is my Rock and my Fortress.

my day.