Remember{ing} To Smile.

#currentlylisteningtoRememberToSmilebyPatrickDoyle

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I have much to be happy about. The Lord has and is doing amazing things in my life-- and yet, now that I'm finally, officially home for the next several weeks, there is discontentment in my soul. Crazy, I know, especially after a recent facebook status proclaiming my glorious joy in Christ, my care-free spirit and love for Him. I just came home from a week-long vacation. (btw, I have not forgotten to post pictures! Will do ASAP.) I saw my beloved High Kings in concert. I returned to the sewing machine, needle-strewn basement of the Beyond the Mask costume production team (part of it, aka, a friends home, ala headquarters of the production team.) All within a month. Sounds just about perfect, right? And yet, here I am. . .burdened by emotional cares and the feeling of utter uselessness. No matter how hard I work--nannying, household chores. . .watching The Waltons with my sisters, attending (as a spectator,) a civil war reenactment battle--so many plans, hopes, dreams. Things HAPPENING--right now.

Why am I discontent?

We all go through "lonely" times. Often without explanation. I wonder--is it always wrong, this "needing something more"? Yes, we are to be content in all things. But sometimes the Lord puts a restlessness in our soul--that unspeakable urge--to DO something, GO somewhere, make a difference, see a change. BE a change.

This thing I'm interpreting as discontentment--could it be God's voice? That's what I'm trying to discover. . .and strangely, mind-boggling enough, the answer came yesterday. Possibly. I can't say what right now, (never fear, no young men are involved, ;) ) but if it works, if it's in the Lord's Will, if I can get over the scared-to-death and see beyond--it's a strange mix of all that, really, inside. . .it may ( keyword,) be the most miraculous experience of my life. {Hint: It very possibly begins with an "Ire" and ends in "land".}

Here I am. . .wondering, "Lord, what is it you want from me?" If only we could have a long discussion. . .around a coffee table, just Jesus and I. I have so many questions. And to tell the truth, the answer "wait" doesn't feel sufficient.

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But it is. Because HE is sufficient. 

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD

--Psalm 27:14

Quick life-updates:  // fallish weather has officially arrived in Ohio. Which means berets. . .I picked up an adorable one from Charming Charlie the other day. Pics may come. ;) // Homemade mac and cheese, btw, is divine. . .when cooked in the microwave. It tastes almost like Stouffers. o.O // Seen so many movies/read so many books I feel swamped with all the reviews that need posting! Um . . .Persuasion 2007. Is all I'll say. And I don't even like JA. // Event planning (The Ohio Summer Rendezvous, a homeschool retreat my family hosts annually,) is in full, frantic swing. Lots of work, but always so worth it! // Pearl Maiden. . .is one of the most incredible novels I've ever read. Les Miz has a rival. // I'm considering **possibly** revealing the Narnian of my personal affection.  // My sister Julia just turned 15. // An anti-facebookian has returned. . .to facebook. And is enjoying herself. // I love Les Miserables, Andrea Bocelli, and The High Kings. Oh wait, you already knew that. :P //

I'll be back with a cheerier post soon, promise. Thanks for listening, er, reading my rants. ;) Can't wait to share vacaton and High King's pics!--and if you think about it, please pray about this "possible HUGE opportunity". I'd so appreciate it!

Oh, and before I forget, eShakti is giving a special discount to all {Rhapsody} in PINK readers! Just type in this code to receive 10% off your purchese: PNN7RAR