it was a day of learning. but aren't they all that way? i woke up in a grouchy mood, still coming down from a disagreement two evenings ago. it was a day of country goodness. deep in the heart of amish country--serene, rolling, filled with barnyard smells, open space, and farmers preparing their fields. it was a day of surrender. when i realized my bad mood was only making ME miserable. that deep down i wanted to be happy. it was a day of change. bad mood turned to good. able at last to enjoy the emotion of an all-girl household. crammed into one van. you should try it sometime. ;) it was a day of red sun dresses, yogurt-covered pretzels, and peach scented candles. then. it was a day of learning. again. a less-than-friendly encounter with a total stranger. . .it hurt. to the point of tears. it was a day of renewal. on the way home i heard a radio show that seemed meant for me. and i realized something very important. i realized how easily the devil deceives me. how often i listen to his lies, his promise of failure--"don't pray. don't Read. you aren't worth anything." but that is just part of the Christian Walk. some days lessons like these hit harder then others. today was that sort of day. then i remembered the tiny miracle of two days ago, when i was cutting the grass. so small, so big to me. the tank was on empty--literally, the mower should have died. but i prayed--not a simple, quick, thrown up prayer--a challenge, begging. it was a test of faith. my faith. and the grass was cut. all of it. Christ's answer--two days ago--"YES pray. YES Read. you are worth EVERYTHING to Me." later today i took my puppy for a walk around the yard. lilacs ARE spring, btw. i snitched them from the neighbors bush. they're in a vase on the windowsill now. and you know what? i'm completely happy and content--God is my Rock and my Fortress.