Monday, August 22, 2011

He loves me, he loves me not. . .

I spent this weekend with two of my bestest friends: my mom and sis, Anna. Thinking back, I learned two very important things. . .
  1. Coming in late at my grandparents house means breaded eggplant, fried peppers, and homemade sausage - to be eaten in the dark with fingers at 11:00 PM by three majorly slap-happy women.
  2. Coffee and organic, DARK (super caffeinated dark,) chocolate taken together is dangerous. 
Both experiences = amazing fun, lots of obnoxious laughter, and sour stomachs. Just sayin'. 

But most importantly, I spent a refreshing weekend with like-minded girls and mothers from around the country, brought together by one source: a Radiant Purity conference (Sarah Mally. Note that I do not necessarily endorse all her teachings.) Though I was already familiar with all the ideas/thought process/material presented, I came away with a full heart, encouraged . . .knowing that WHO I am in the Lord, WHAT I am in the Lord, matters to HIM, matters to my future (unknown) "Prince". . .and that I need not fear what the world thinks of me. 

Before I continue, this question has been circulating through my mind: why are people with standards so harshly judged? Why are people who believe in courtship dubbed "Josh Harris followers"?  Why are ladies who wear skirts for modesty and femininity reasons called "legalistic"?  Yes we have freedom in Christ, yes everyone has different views/opinions on Christianity, but please, please don't mock those who choose to be "different", or "peculiar" according to the worlds ideals. I am not "more holy" or a better Christian because I dress differently or choose to "wait" for the right man. However it hurts - more - when a fellow believer mocks. . .when they are closed minded. 

This article is taking a slightly different path then I planned. ;) When it comes to "my skirts", I like to tell inquirers that while I could go through the whole "modesty spiel", (or at least my interpretation of modesty,) my primary reason is simply one, very obvious, very valid fact: I feel beautiful. 

The worldview of most Christian women is one of supreme respect for our male heads; our leaders. The thought of someday sitting under the man God has crafted, selected just for me is thrilling. And why do we appreciate men? For their masculinity. .. this is what makes a man a MAN, this is what attracts us to them. Skirts are feminine, they flow, swirl, swish. . .instantly transform me into a princess - a GIRL. A woman who wants to stand out. I want to be radical, different, a light in our world. 

Most folks assume that words such as "waiting," "purity," and "courtship" surround a small  percentage of girls who aren't allowed to associate with men - even speak with them. . .the type that run for the nearest corner if a young man looks in their direction. "Oooh . . .he MUST be interested in me. What do I do? Daaadddd???" 

WRONG. Personally, I'd rather be friends with guys then girls. Honestly and truly. Guys balance things out. . .they add a fun, manly dimension to a group setting. . .and they aren't catty. There's no peer pressure. They accept me (usually) for who I am - no jealously, no conditions. And they are no more then FRIENDS. If anything, being friends with guys has taught me NOT to jump at every man as "a potential".  When talking and even English Country dancing  in a mixed group setting, I am able to assess character. . .work on that "check list" of no-no's and absolutes. Not that I'm pouring out my deepest secrets to guys! o.O Of course not. . . but I think there is a level of respect in a friendship when a girl isn't desperate, treating each male friend as a human being. . .a brother, a friend. Nothing more. Never assuming anything.

What is my point in all this? I don't know. Really, it HAD one, before I began writing. ;) Now its full of rambling, non-related topics. My thoughts poured out for your sorting. 

Conviction. It truly sums this mess together. We all have different stands. . .different concepts our Jesus placed especially on our hearts. As a testimonial this weekend reminded, ignoring a conviction deadens us to sin. Never ignore that still, small voice pulling at your heart. And listen, listen for His call to you. "Waiting" is such a beautiful thing. . .sharing so many "firsts" with that special someone. We can be friends with guys within limits - but girls, don't become desperate. The Lord will bring you your Prince in His time. Not "God's best" but "God's Choice."
There is a difference. 

"He loves me, he loves me not." Christ loves you, He is our all in all. Lets focus on HIM, stop judging each other. Lets celebrate being WOMEN and MEN of God. 

For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. - Psalms 84:11

Please note that skirt-wearing is simply my personal preference. I see them as more modest then pants, however, if pants are modest for YOU, and if your dad agrees, I do not judge you! (and yes, they can be feminine. :) ) I do not want to sound like "I have the answers", or holier-then-thou. Again, just my view of things.


  1. Oh my... that is exactly what I thought the word "courtship" meant until very recently. :P Thanks for sharing this!

  2. It's all about the heart condition. I think that many of the reasons that I and my husband are now entirely pushed away from the concept of courtship, skirt-wearing, etc. is because it was brutally shoved down our throats by not only our families, but also by some family friends who made it a point to tell us that we were "living in sin."


    Because Jon and I dated, kissed before marriage, and I don't wear skirts all the time. In fact, I wear pants just about 100% of the time.

    You ask why people with your beliefs get painted with such a scathing stigma? It's because there are MANY (and you are not one of them, thank the Lord) who shove their convictions at others and proclaim them hell-bound sinners if they do not comply.

    This post was TRULY BEAUTIFUL! It's so nice to read a post from someone who is sweet and tender in sharing their viewpoint, and also still managed to impart true wisdom to her readers. This was the way it should be done.

    I may not agree with all of your beliefs, but OH, do I respect you more because of the way in which you shared them.


  3. Very beautiful and well-written, Michaela.

    When it comes to skirt-wearing, I agree! I feel so beautiful when wearing a skirt and just feel a lot more feminine! I know I will encourage my daughters someday to wear skirts and dresses. I do wear pants, but that is a family conviction and I love wearing loose, flowy, feminine blouses if I'm going to be wearing pants. But, overall, I LOVE skirts and always love seeing pictures of you and Anna in the delightful outfits you wear. I don't think I've seen one outfit on your blog that I wouldn't love to wear. :)

    God bless you as you seek Him. Its so incredible to serve the Lord and know that He will always love us, no matter where we are in life (single at home, married, etc...).

    In Him,

  4. Oh,you went to the RPC?
    I went to that I think last year,and it was fun,and a great encouragement.

    The first wedding dress photo your have to, so cute. The second one looks like it is too!!!!

    Skirts do make you feel like beautiful and like a girl! :) especially A line skirts.

    Thank you for sharing.

  5. That's great that you got to go to a Radiant Purity conference. I hope they do one where I live. I've read Before You Meet Prince Charming and found it really helpful. :)

  6. How neat-o! I've heard of Bright Lights but never been to anything like that. Sounds really great! And some thought-provoking thoughts (thought provoking that possible? :-D).


  7. You have such a precious blog! :)

    I am hosting a giveaway at my blog {Grace Place} that ends September 3rd. I will be giving away a pearl bracelet and jeweled friendship bracelet. I hope you can enter!

    Miss Grace

  8. Amen! Thank you so much for posting this.. Nice to find another girl with views like this. :)

    God bless you!

  9. Wonderful post; I don't wear skirts all the time, but I agree that you do often feel more feminine in skirts.
    And about the poll on the sidebar, I do follow you, but I think that more people would follow your blog if you varied your posts, posted more often AND followed other peoples' blogs. Some people might sort of forget that your blog exists and a reminder like following or posting comments can be very helpful.

  10. Lovely post.. I love your blog! It is so beautiful and refreshing. :) It is a pleasure to meet another 'Mikailah/Michaela' who is home-schooled and loves the Lord! Thank you for sharing.

    Blessings in Him,

  11. I don't think pants are immodest,but I do agree that skirts and dresses do feel feminine.

  12. Great post! I don't think I disagreed with anything you wrote. You have a lovely way of saying things. :)

    There is a song I really enjoy and a part it says "I want to be strong Lord, Teach me to Wait". I think it is applicable to young ladies today. We need to store up all the wonderful energy the Lord has given us- instead of wasting it seeking after "Prince Charming". The Lord will bring our paths to cross when He knows we are ready, not before. For the time being, this is a wonderful time to be serving Him and being a Light. I think you are a Light in the world, and I commend you for sticking firm. It is trying to be at home, but the benefits are immense. :D


  13. Wonderful post! I love wearing skirts SO much, though I wear pants occasionally. They make me feel so much more femenine. I agree with you!

    Many of my friends are guys, and we can talk as friends without any expectations or my thinking, "IS HE THE ONE?" Guys really do balance things out. :)

    -jessie suzanne


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