Thursday, June 30, 2011

Tomorrow is new. . .thoughts while walkin' the Narrow Way

Before I begin my rant, I have to point out that this was hastily written a few days ago . . ."life" is brighter now, and I feel much closer to the Lord then I did. However my thoughts were spilled. . .and I'd like to share them with you. Note that while this post may seem focused on marriage,  it is really about everyday trials; the marriage part was a bit impulsive - something I've been pondering.

Ah, Anne Shirely. I love the movies, though I've never been "obsessed" with them, and I never truly liked Gilbert  However the books. . .the BOOKS!  The original title is a bit boring, but Anne of Avonlea, Anne of the Island (currently reading!) just sweep me off my feet, take me to places far beyond even my overly-active scope of imagination. The pictures L.M. Montgomery paints through her words are so dreamy. I can hear, feel, smell, see all the colors, the people, Miss Lavenders cottage, Royal Gardner. (only an Anne-fanatic would understand that one. ;) ) Her stories speak to my soul. They are so rich. But now, on to the post.

Anne Of Green Gables

Life is hard. But not impossible to live through. Life is good. But not always kind. Most often, life feels plain mean - yet we can't let it beat us. "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Chrsit." 1 Pet 1:17

Right now, this very moment, I feel severely tried. Nothing monumental, just every day cares that constantly nag. When will I get myself together? When will I stop loving my flesh, submitting to my own will? Then there are doubting thoughts . . .Lord, when am I going to get married? I'm waiting - not so very patiently - why is this desire suddenly hitting me like a ton of bricks? I love my single life, I love my family . . .but somehow weddings have an adverse effect on me; I was at one yesterday. No, I am most definitely NOT desperate. There is nothing more unattractive to me then young ladies who talk of nothing, think of nothing, dwell on nothing, but marriage and love. So much adventure lies in the single life - so much growing, learning, excelling. Yet that urge sometimes pulls my brain - despite my stand for contentedness. His plans are perfect. I just have to trust Him and remember: ". . .that the trying of your faith worketh patience." James 1:3 B

Here I sit. Sometimes nothing will help my heart but spilling it all over a piece of paper, forever imprint it on a blank Word document. Many times I have vented, squirmed, cried out, begged for His Mercy - all through my typing fingers. Sometimes verbal words aren't enough. At least for me. This is one of those moments that I feel the need to share, share with you, let YOU know that you aren't alone . . .every Christian struggles, falls, gets back up again. "What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." Mark 11:24 This isn't a fancy post . . .it isn't even a post at all. Its just a scramble of thoughts jumbled up in a "mock" blog entry. Hey, you read it, or you don't. You may even stop following my blog. But I'm going to ramble. It feels so good! "Teach me they way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path." Psa 27:11

As Anne Shirley said: "Tomorrow is new. . . with no mistakes in it." Sin. We all do it. When I reach the Pearly Gates I'd like no better then to take Adam and Eve by the scruff of their necks and shout, "You TWO! WHAT have you done? Don't you see-don't you know what misery you've brought upon the world? All because of a stupid piece of fruit! *We* had to suffer, because of YOU." 

So what is the lesson in all this? Christ has the answer - He knows *everything* held within the murky jaws of the future. I am *not* in control. The little things in life really don't matter. When I step back, take a deep breath, and delve into my Bible, life really doesn't seem that unconquerable. Its just taking the step to actually read - to trust.  
Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, 
I've no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

This is NOT a fluffy post, at least not the second half. Ok, maybe it is, just a tad. But hey, I tried! ;) I was starting to worry that TLRoS was "overly girly." Of course, I'm very girly, so the theme makes sense, yet I want my posts to show a bit more depth. Outside of all the silliness, I am very deep. That said:
 . . . Onward Christian Soldiers!! 

12 comments:

  1. Hmmm....this post was very reflective for me. Honestly, as a young woman who is going on my second year of marriage at not-even 21, this is an interesting concept for me. I really wanted to get married, ever since I was very little. And the more I pushed, the less I was letting God work in my heart and life.

    When I finally let go of my own ideals and moved forward to His will for my life, I was able to find the right husband for me. Jon and I have had our struggles, that much is true. But it was worth waiting for.

    Keep strong, love. The right man is coming for you. Just wait on the Lord, and feel your strength renewed.

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  2. I know what you mean about wanting to get married and such. I have been feeling that myself the last two years, which is a blessing in a way, because I have gone through periods in my life where I desperately DID NOT want to get married. However, one of the comforts to me is that I realize that I am not ready for marriage (although I'm sure that I will never truly feel so, and that it will be okay!), but this time is a time for that preparation. That spurs me on to loftier goals, and the desire to pursue things in my life that will help me to be a little more "ready".

    I'm not sure if this really makes sense, of if this was even what you were driving at in your post, but it seemed to strike a common thread with me. I hope you don't mind. :)

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  3. This reminds of the keynote speaker at our most recent homeschool conference reminding us that "It's hard, but it's good" and "The good stuff is on the other side of the hard stuff"!

    I think this is something nearly every Christian homeschooled girl struggles with from time to time as she waits for God's best for her life. Recently we played for a wedding where the aunt of bride came up to us girls and told us wait for a man who "treat us like a sister with all purity, honor us like his mother, and treasure us for the prize and jewel that we are". It was a powerful reminder! - J.

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  4. I get days like that... Where I am just so depressed and so frustrated with myself for having the same struggles over and over again... But you just have to remember that we aren't meant to live this life on our own strength... That's why we need Jesus... :)

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  5. Amen Tory, you hit the nail right on the head! :) Thank you all so much for your comments...my struggle *isn't* about marriage - I suppose this post makes it sound that way. It HAS been a topic on my mind, but I was really focused on everyday trials in life. Sin being primary. But wonderful thoughts! Keep 'em coming! :D

    haha, Eyebright, I understand your feeling of NOT wanting to get married. ;) I was just telling my mom...part of me DOES, but the rest of me adores being single. Oy. Life is so confusing.

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  6. Oh Michaela, thank you for writing this post! I really needed to hear this now. I've been struggling with trying to follow His will for my life and remain content, but there will still be times when I long for a different stage of my life to come faster, i.e. marriage, motherhood, etc. It's hard. I stumble. I fall. I know that He will always be there to catch me, pick me back up again, and dust me off, but the difficult and unpleasant part is actually continuing along the path after being "dusted off". You don't know how encouraging it is to read posts like this: it really helps to know that there are others "out there" who are struggling with the same problems that I am. Together, by His grace and strength, we *can* improve! And tomorrow is always a new day. :)

    Love and Blessings,
    Elizabeth Rose

    P.S. I couldn't leave this comment without adding how much I love Anne Shirley. I wish I could look at life with as cheery and optimistic outlook as her's. I'm glad you're reading the books. Keep on going: they only get better! The only one I didn't like quite as much was #4, Anne of Windy Poplars. For some reason, the storyline and characters did not appeal to me as much. But maybe that was just one of my quirks. :)

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  7. Lovely,

    There is nothing to be ashamed about wanting to get married, and don't let anyone tell you differently. :-) We are created by God to be helpmeets, and He created us with that desire in our hearts! To not desire that would be rejecting God's design for us! (And no, I don't mean being nervous thinking about all that lies ahead and wishing for the "easier" younger years. I wish that all the time. :-D)

    Great hymn, too. I love that one. And there are sooo many trials that come slong, and just a good reminder!

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  8. A lovely post, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I know exactly what you mean, I struggle with the same things...I love the verse in Galatians chapter 6 (verse 9) "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." If we joyfully live the life God has given us now, in His timing He will give us more than we could ever ask for!

    In Christ,
    Starlie

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  9. I am yet to exactly have this trouble,though I look foreword to the day I run my household,have little kiddos of my own. But I'm way to young and I know I'm not even close to being ready. But I just thought I would tell you that though I don't really know what your going through I'll be praying that God will give your heart peace,patients, and contentment while you wait for your knight in shining armor.... :)

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  10. Yeah, marriage was more my struggle last year... Now it is more how to live out my single years and how much independence I have as an adult... But all of these struggles have the pretty much the same root problem as my struggles last year... So it's hard... But reading Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild has helped!!! :)

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  11. Weddings (and related things) seem to have a similar effect on me, and sometimes that desire for marriage, home and family is dreadfully overwhelming. That being said, I think contentment, trust, and patience are life-long struggles, whether we be single or married. Life has its seasons, and one is not necessarily any easier than another, just different. ♥

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  12. P.S. 'Day By Day' is one of my most favorite hymns! :)

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