Be all there.

It's interesting, looking back on the "year the locust's ate," (AKA, 2013,) and seeing how far God has brought me. I don't know how it happened, and it certainly wasn't without a lot of groaning and complaints, failing in faith and forgetting to trust. I think God intentionally puts us in the Valley of the Shadow. . .what and where that valley is depends on the soldier. I was in search for total dependency on God. I'm still looking, but His nearness is fuller in my life, and at long last I've reached the mouth of the tunnel, and am looking out into the light. In proper English, 2014 has been a hugely transforming year thus far. Not saying there hasn't been challenges, and relying on God is a new discovery, every day. Yet, things are changing. Things are happening. It's amazing, really, how doors have suddenly, unexpectedly, opened. Have you noticed something about this blog? I'm going off a rabbit trail. . .but I hope you see a rawness, a realness to my writing. Through these pages I try to convey the depth of a relationship with God. The ups, downs, failings, and triumphs. . .in a human, real-hearted way. No candy-coating or cushioning allowed. This is my heart. Maybe it's sentimental and even melodramatic at times. . .but once the typing fingers and soul connect. . .there's no stopping the flow of words, coming from a gal who hopes to be a light in this world, no matter how small.

All that said, God really does work in mysterious ways! Missions and ministry have been my passion since I was about five years old, but I've encountered very few opportunities to serve. Wellll. . .just today I found out about a Christian-based coffee shop literally five minutes from my house. Seriously, I've been praying so hard that God will use this bumbling, stumbling excuse of a Christian for His kingdom. 

I think I may have found my calling. :)

 The cafe serves coffee and other hot drinks, meals, fellowship, Bible's, and the gospel of Jesus Christ to poverty stricken teens and families. I am so excited I could scream! Not only do I get to serve coffee. . .but I can give the gospel, something organizations like the Salvation Army does not offer. Going tomorrow for my background check. Please keep me in your prayers!

Are you burdened? We all walk our own, private Valley of Shadows. Please, whatever you do, don't give up. It may be too dark, engulfing you, pulling you down, convincing you there is no restoration, no hope, no reason to move forward. Friend, keep those eyes trained on Jesus! Whatever you do, no matter how confusing, no matter how mind boggling--He cares. He sees. Even when He is silent. Even when you may never understand. There is always a plan. There is always a purpose. Look toward the future. I promise, it may not be in this lifetime, but all this mess of humanity WILL make sense. If I have but one mission statement, this would be my motto: Jesus KNOWS. If anything, the harder the trial, the deeper the pain, be rest assured. . .the harder He's working. You must be doing something right if you are facing adversity. Really, in the strange, beautiful mystery of the Christian life, these valleys, these dips in the road. . .are a privilege. Don't ever question who you are in Him. You WILL be rewarded. :)

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." -Jim Elliot