-- C.S. Lewis
Happy 2014! I had planned a long, sentimental post for the new year, sharing all that I learned in the last 12 months, all the life-changing things that happened in a year when nothing happened. It's all rather weird and a muddle and something I just want to say goodbye to forever. Yes. I happily slammed the door on 2013, and thank God--I never have to go back. I've traversed the long, dark path of last year, once again into the beautiful, blinding white of an untouched, unscathed, perfectly new, perfectly blank world.
It's called 2014.
Maybe sometime I'll write my sentimental post. Maybe sometime I'll attempt to describe the awesome power and renewing glory of God in my life. Can it be put into words? The deepness of a new heart, the passion of knowing Jesus in the truest way possible? I'm not sure. But I've been transformed. I've cried. Tears enough to fill an ocean (or so it feels. ;) ) I've laughed. I've struggled. I'm still struggling. But most importantly. . .I've grown. You know, every year I say the same thing--but I'm truly not the same person. This girl isn't even Michaela, at least, not the Michaela I used to know. She's a "better," more mature, more wizened-and-gray Michaela. It's like I've aged (not physically. . .I still look 14, ;) ) ten years. And it's good. Life is a mess and I'm a mess, but I'm a beautiful mess. I'm God's mess. I'm tired of trying to understand His ways. They aren't mine. I'm tired of trying to figure Him out. He is too awesome for that. I'm tired of fighting. My future is in His hands. So goodbye 2013. As much as I hated you, as much as you tried ruining my life, I'm glad I knew you. I think you'll always be in my heart, an stinging little reminder of what was.
I am looking toward the future (cue Mr. Thornton's voice, ;) ) through a fresh lens. No, I may not be in control. No, I may not understand God or even always feel Him working in my life--but I know He's there. Isn't it special, how there is always time to start over, to begin again? That's what makes the new year so perfect. God knows we need new scripts, new adventures, new dreams, new goals. I'm not the biggest resolution-maker, but there are are some milestones I'd like to meet in 2014. For starters, I'd like to get my license. I want to have more grace. . .to judge less and remember that everyone makes mistakes. A new job would be nice. Oh, and I really, really, really want to write my first novel. Yes. I've been plot making for years, but as my biggest critic, I've never completed a book. Right now there is (at least, IMO,) an awesome little story floating around in my head. . .that needs telling, and is keeping me enraptured and busy.
2014--let's go get 'em.